Think about it. A business teacher, teaches business. Duh. So, if they're the fountain of knowledge when it comes to business, why aren't they millionaires?
The one thing you don't want to know about your business teacher, is whether or not they ever started their own business, because it's a 'catch 22' situation. It makes it physically impossible to understand how they could be a good teacher.
If they did, what the hell are they doing teaching a bunch of muppets about how to be rich instead of being rich themselves? They can't have been very good business people.
If they didn't, how the hell do they know what business is really like? They can't be very good teachers.
Something doesn't add up here. When I go to a business class, I want to be reassured that I'm in good hands, and that these people are going to show me how to make a million pounds in 12 seconds. Is that so much to ask?
There's only one way they could make me feel any more skeptical, but it's a long shot. I mean, there's no way that my teacher is going to be a former psychiatrist, right?
Oh. Shite.
A bloody psychiatrist. Of all the people in the world, we get a psychiatrist. I want money. Not hugs. As if psychiatrists don't have enough money anyway. He looks like this:
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt though. Psychiatrists can be good business men too. They must be, to be able to bleed so much money out of people's wallets just for having a little chit chat about feelings. Shit, I do that for free on an almost daily basis. Give ME money.
So he opens his mouth to speak. It sounds like the equivalent of hearing sand. If sand could talk. It's literally the softest voice in the whole world. When he speaks, it's almost like I'm having Andrex Puppies thrown at my face. Why do all psychiatrists speak like that? Do they think they're just going to take off on wings made out of people's money, propelled into the air by their own smug farts? Probably.
Sorry if I'm going off on one, but we took a business class to learn how to become complete bastards by milking people for what they're worth. However, when we actually attend the class, most conversations go like this:
Fairyman: Hello boys, mmmm, so tell me, how are we feeling today? mmmm.
US: Like we want money.
Fairyman: Mmmmm, yes. So, tell me, how does money, mmmm, make you feel inside?
US: Like we want more money.
Fairyman: Mmmm, more money, yesssss. Mmmmm. Why do you think we want more money?
US: So we can buy shit. Where's this going?
Fairyman: Mmmmm, more stuff, yesssss. Mmmm. How do you feel about more stuff?
US: ARGGGGGH!
Fairyman: You need to find yourselves boys. Mmmm, Be at peace. Here, take this golden egg of light. It will guide you on your spiritual journey towards your 6 Month Business Schematic.
Whatever. If I get asked how I feel one more time, I'm going to require a lawyer, and a good excuse.
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