Turns out I'd slept on my hand all night. You know when you fall asleep with your hand behind your head, and you wake up and all of a sudden you can't feel it attached to the end of your arm, where you're pretty sure you left it the night before? Well I did that. So I now had pins and needles down my arm, or as we in the North West of England call it, a dead arm. I must have had it in under my head all night, because I sure as hell couldn't use it, but I could feel some kind of pain in my lower arm.
So what does this have to do with pirates? Well let's take a look:
This is the modern day pirate, and he is badass. I can relate to this guy on a whole bunch of levels, but there are 3 things that define the modern day pirate, weaponry aside:
1) The hook - Or more specifically, the inability to use one hand for its intended purpose, thus drawing a positive out of what is surely a very tender subject, and turning that thing into a weapon.
I could quite easily use my arm as a weapon right now. I can't feel a thing in it, so it's perfect for like, a club or something. Check.
2) The peg leg - Peg legs are a little cliche these days. I've gone one better. Without actually having been subject to a variety of situations where I might end up losing my leg, I just went ahead and broke it. The outcome is the same, even if the circumstances differ slightly.
Case and point, I'm still a one armed, one legged freak at the moment. Check.
3) Facial hair - SHIT. Curse my inability to grow any kind of substantial amounts of facial hair. All pirates need facial hair. It's a pre-requisite. All famous pirates have names like, Blackbeard, Bluebeard, Gingerbeard etc... You never heard of a pirate called The Stubble. A buccaneer named Gillette.
Regardless, of the 3 things, this is the most fixable. All I have to do is not shave for about 3 years, to change this:
into this:
Let's think positive eh? I could be plundering villages before you know it.
K x
No comments:
Post a Comment