A pretty standard question amongst many groups of 20-something year old males, however, we kick it up a notch. Imagine the scenario...
...The whole world is full of superheroes. Everyone has at least one super power, ranging from flight, to super human strength, to x-ray vision...yadda yadda yadda. In a world where everyone is super, the only way to be truly different would be to have a super power that was...well, for want of a better term, a bit shit.
We then modified the conversation to just: "if you could have a super power, but it had to be a bit shit, what power would it be?"
Why we talk about these things, I have no idea, but here are the results:
Kyle: The Fist Of Redemption.
My power is simple. Picture the scene; I'm in an alleyway, and I've just cornered a bank robber. There's nowhere to go, and he knows it, and he knows I know it, and we both know it. He makes an attempt to get past me, but I manage to get one quick dig into his ribs. His whole life flashes before his eyes. Immediately, he's tired of being a baddie, and he decides to hand himself in.
The fist of redemption is the ability to punch someone once and all of a sudden they want to be a better person. 99% of all people who have been punched by the fist of redemption became missionaries in Cambodia. The other 1% died. Of love.
Andrew: Flight Of The Navigator.
You'd be forgiven for thinking that Flight Of The Navigator is an 80's kids film, but in actual fact, the name was stolen from Andrew's super power. The power is simple. Andrew has the ability to fly, up. He can fly at a 90 degree angle striaght up into the air until he can see the landscape all around him. From this vantage point, he can clearly navigate his way out of a jungle or something. This is very useful for when we regularly find ourselves in unchartered parts of Asia, or Manchester.
Gary: Receptors of Sheer Volume.
Gary can hear any sound in the world without going deaf. This has yet to prove useful for anything at all, but hey, isn't that the point of having a shit super power?
The one place I could see this being useful is if the world was being attacked by a gig. A gig that never ended. A gig that never ended, and it was just Amy Winehouse singing Songs Of Praise.
Realising this, Gary gave himself another power. The power to silence everybody within a 100 ft radius just by saying "shh". I can see how this could be much more useful. Especially for librarians.
There were plenty of other powers that we came up with, so feel free to take any of them for yourself:
The ability to smell fear, but only fear. And fear stinks like shit.
The ability to turn invisible, but only when it's dark.
The ability to shoot bullets from your fingertips, but all the bullets are blanks.
Super strength, but only when fighting somebody that's weaker than you in the first place.
The ability to fly, but only at 60mph, with no brakes.
Long distance vision, permanently. You can't see anything but whatever is 1 mile away.
1 comment:
I would like the super power of constantly smelling like 'Olbas Oil'. I would be able to breathe at ease when I have a cold, but would purely reek when I don't have,although I'd be a savior to those with colds!
K2x
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