No doubt everyone has heard of the band "30 Seconds To Mars" by now. Good God, they suck incredible amounts of shite. They once did a 6 month test down at the Dyson Vacuum plant to see why their bagless vacuums just didn't suck as much as 30 Seconds To Mars. Their tests were inconclusive.
Now, despite my objection to this band's music, I have, however, no quarrel with their existence. But imagine for one moment if you will, that I'm stood in a shed in Tesco. It's 6.45am, freezing, and EVERY single radio station is playing 30 Seconds To $£%!ING MARS! Even Century Radio! Century Radio only play Cher and Barry White. What the MARS are they doing, playing 30 Seconds To Mars? I'm 30 Seconds to Pissed Off right now.
What happened to Jared Leto? He used to be 30 Seconds From Cool, and now he's just tired, and wearing eyeliner. Yawn. You might remember some of the awesome films that he was in, particularly 30 Seconds From Fight Club, featuring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, and even more importantly, 30 Seconds To Requiem For A Dream, or Requiem From A Mars as it's more well known as, one of the best films ever made.
Leto! Do more good films and less shite music! Let it happen!
Anyway, the tone is set. I'm 30 Seconds From Bored with this band, and yeah, as you can imagine, they're on at various intervals throughout the rest of the day. It's only when I'm riding my bike home that I think "Thank God, at least in my own house, I'm the master of the entertainment".
So I get in, and turn the TV on. Naturally, it's 'Hilarious Day' in Heaven and my Guardian Angel is poking the shit out of me, because as you've probably already guessed, what's on my TV? 30 SECONDS TO SHITE-ING MARS.
What's this, Leto? My radio isn't enough? Now you're coming into my home, issuing your demands and putting a big muddy footprint on my moderately priced rug???? NO LETO, NO! I don't care if you were in Fight Club. It's on!
I'm 30 Seconds To Suicide.
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