You Would Though: The Matrix

'You Would Though' is going to be a weekly (hopefully) discussion on situations where a judgement, despite being taboo at first, upon reflection, probably would be the right decision to make.



This week we're talking about The Matrix. For those that don't know, The Matrix is a fictional based film about the future, where artificially intelligent machines have dominated the Earth and are growing humans to use as an source of energy. The kicker is, the humans don't know what's happening, because they're all plugged into a virtual reality system that they think is real life. This system is effectively known as, The Matrix.

Our lead protagonist is Neo, who gets freed from The Matrix by Morpheus, the leader of a rogue ship based in the real world.

Here's an abridged script for the film:

Morpheus: All right Neo, here ya'rr, take this blue pill or something, and you'll wake up tomorrow as normal and you won't remember a thing. Take this red pill, and we'll show you real life.

Neo: Red pill please.

(Loads of shots of Neo essentially being savaged by a load of machines before being flushed down a toilet, to wake up inside a space ship)

Neo: So...this is real life eh? What's for breakfast?

Real life guy: Some sloppy shit, every day. You'll learn to love it.

Neo: Why am I wearing a potato sack?

Morpheus: Them's real life clothes innit. We all wear potato sacks in the real world, cos we pretty much don't have any money or anything.

Neo: Wow, I just left a decent job with a slightly above modest salary inside the Matrix that, although artificial, felt pretty good to have.

Morpheus: No it didn't. It didn't feel good at all remember? You really enjoy porridge, and potato sacks, and Carrie Ann Moss, who clearly isn't as fit as most people in the Matrix, but at least she's real.

Neo: Oh ok.

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Do you see what I'm getting at here? The Matrix, right, kicked ass. If you woke up in the real world, you'd be like, what the hell is this shit? Am I seriously going to live in a garage with a bunch of plugs in my arms and face? Can I get cable TV out of this thing in the back of my head? Are any of these sockets on my body good for plugging a razor into?

It's almost like being in the Matrix is miles better than being in the real world. You'd probably rather stay in the Matrix. The thing is...you would though. Come on. You would though, wouldn't you?

Yeah, but you would though, wouldn't you?



Better yet, Cypher had the right idea. He got freed, then decided to give up Morpheus' location so that he could strike a deal with the machines to make him rich and famous. How ace is that? What a legend. I loved that guy. Shame he had his shit ruined by someone in the real world.

The bloody real world. It's just ruining everyone's lives in this film. Everyone hates it except Morpheus, who inexplicably loves hiding out in caves. Weird ass.

If I had it my way, I'd give up Morpheus, become a rock star, have loads of money and babes and just chill out in The Matrix. I'd also be invincible. And invisible when I want to be.

You would though wouldn't you?

Yeah but come on, you would though.