Website finally online!

Hey there everyone.

Just a quick blog today. Hardly been writing for this thing in the run up to launching our site, but you'll all be glad to know it's finally online. Whoo! Well, the beta version anyway. There's still a lot of development to be done on it as of yet, but we're getting there.

One step at a time...

Chog Zoo Update!

Hello Chog friends! Just an update for you, we're currently recording the audio for the next episode of Wellington. We've recorded a lot of the main Wellington and Chadwick dialogue. Good jive was spoken, songs were sung, and some lovely new animation is on its way!






Coming soon: A nice fully working website, more jive talking, giggly cartoons and rap battles.

A Long Forgotten Web Site

I had until now forgotten about an old website I had running in college, which was essentially a place to cure my boredom with some odd creativity.

Here is a sample of a page from a few years ago:

Queen's Telegrams

Introduction:
Have you ever wondered what the Queen says in her telegrams? - you know, those which commemorate the elderly surviving past 100 etc.... well, wonder no more, i have managed to intercept some of those mysterious letters.

TELEGRAM 1:

Dear Extremely old member of the public.
Apparently I have to write to you because you're old or something. How stupid is this? I bet you're too far in the grave to be able to read! Your family and friends will be singing happy birthday to you and you'll wonder where the fuck you are!

I have inclu

ded a photo of you celebrating your next birthday. I hope you like it.

Anyway, I'm bored now, but just know this, dont be so smug, 107 means you dont have long left.

Yours sincerely,
Your royal highness: Queen Liz

P.S. You lucky bint.

Wow, my mind travelled to some odd places. WWW.GEOCITIES.COM/FEELINGJOLLY

You Would Though: The Matrix

'You Would Though' is going to be a weekly (hopefully) discussion on situations where a judgement, despite being taboo at first, upon reflection, probably would be the right decision to make.



This week we're talking about The Matrix. For those that don't know, The Matrix is a fictional based film about the future, where artificially intelligent machines have dominated the Earth and are growing humans to use as an source of energy. The kicker is, the humans don't know what's happening, because they're all plugged into a virtual reality system that they think is real life. This system is effectively known as, The Matrix.

Our lead protagonist is Neo, who gets freed from The Matrix by Morpheus, the leader of a rogue ship based in the real world.

Here's an abridged script for the film:

Morpheus: All right Neo, here ya'rr, take this blue pill or something, and you'll wake up tomorrow as normal and you won't remember a thing. Take this red pill, and we'll show you real life.

Neo: Red pill please.

(Loads of shots of Neo essentially being savaged by a load of machines before being flushed down a toilet, to wake up inside a space ship)

Neo: So...this is real life eh? What's for breakfast?

Real life guy: Some sloppy shit, every day. You'll learn to love it.

Neo: Why am I wearing a potato sack?

Morpheus: Them's real life clothes innit. We all wear potato sacks in the real world, cos we pretty much don't have any money or anything.

Neo: Wow, I just left a decent job with a slightly above modest salary inside the Matrix that, although artificial, felt pretty good to have.

Morpheus: No it didn't. It didn't feel good at all remember? You really enjoy porridge, and potato sacks, and Carrie Ann Moss, who clearly isn't as fit as most people in the Matrix, but at least she's real.

Neo: Oh ok.

----------------------------------------

Do you see what I'm getting at here? The Matrix, right, kicked ass. If you woke up in the real world, you'd be like, what the hell is this shit? Am I seriously going to live in a garage with a bunch of plugs in my arms and face? Can I get cable TV out of this thing in the back of my head? Are any of these sockets on my body good for plugging a razor into?

It's almost like being in the Matrix is miles better than being in the real world. You'd probably rather stay in the Matrix. The thing is...you would though. Come on. You would though, wouldn't you?

Yeah, but you would though, wouldn't you?



Better yet, Cypher had the right idea. He got freed, then decided to give up Morpheus' location so that he could strike a deal with the machines to make him rich and famous. How ace is that? What a legend. I loved that guy. Shame he had his shit ruined by someone in the real world.

The bloody real world. It's just ruining everyone's lives in this film. Everyone hates it except Morpheus, who inexplicably loves hiding out in caves. Weird ass.

If I had it my way, I'd give up Morpheus, become a rock star, have loads of money and babes and just chill out in The Matrix. I'd also be invincible. And invisible when I want to be.

You would though wouldn't you?

Yeah but come on, you would though.

30 Seconds to a load of bollocks...

The one thing that gets me by in my ever-so-mundane job at Tesco is the peace of mind in knowing that, at least in my department, we're allowed to listen to the radio. I cannot begin to describe how destructive my job would be to my general karma if I wasn't allowed to at least pass the time flicking through the various channels and catching the news updates every hour or so.



No doubt everyone has heard of the band "30 Seconds To Mars" by now. Good God, they suck incredible amounts of shite. They once did a 6 month test down at the Dyson Vacuum plant to see why their bagless vacuums just didn't suck as much as 30 Seconds To Mars. Their tests were inconclusive.

Now, despite my objection to this band's music, I have, however, no quarrel with their existence. But imagine for one moment if you will, that I'm stood in a shed in Tesco. It's 6.45am, freezing, and EVERY single radio station is playing 30 Seconds To $£%!ING MARS! Even Century Radio! Century Radio only play Cher and Barry White. What the MARS are they doing, playing 30 Seconds To Mars? I'm 30 Seconds to Pissed Off right now.

What happened to Jared Leto? He used to be 30 Seconds From Cool, and now he's just tired, and wearing eyeliner. Yawn. You might remember some of the awesome films that he was in, particularly 30 Seconds From Fight Club, featuring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, and even more importantly, 30 Seconds To Requiem For A Dream, or Requiem From A Mars as it's more well known as, one of the best films ever made.

Leto! Do more good films and less shite music! Let it happen!



Anyway, the tone is set. I'm 30 Seconds From Bored with this band, and yeah, as you can imagine, they're on at various intervals throughout the rest of the day. It's only when I'm riding my bike home that I think "Thank God, at least in my own house, I'm the master of the entertainment".

So I get in, and turn the TV on. Naturally, it's 'Hilarious Day' in Heaven and my Guardian Angel is poking the shit out of me, because as you've probably already guessed, what's on my TV? 30 SECONDS TO SHITE-ING MARS.

What's this, Leto? My radio isn't enough? Now you're coming into my home, issuing your demands and putting a big muddy footprint on my moderately priced rug???? NO LETO, NO! I don't care if you were in Fight Club. It's on!

I'm 30 Seconds To Suicide.

Films that would be better if they were documentaries

The other night, whilst more than slightly merry (slightly more than more than slightly in fact), we discussed which films would be a trillion times better if they were actually documentaries on UK television. We came up with the following:

THE RUNNING MAN: A BBC documentary focussing on the effects of the introduction of a third, 'blue' man at the traffic lights; a man who enforces the crosser to run across the road rather than walk, to reduce congestion times. He flashes whenever he reckons you can make it across the road, regardless of whether you can or not.

This series will concentrate on the A&E wards at Swansea's Sancta Maria Hospital, as they try and cope with the number of injured runners they get every day.

THE USUAL SUSPECTS: A BBC documentary focussing on what it's like to be a Black teenager with an ASBO, living on a council estate in central Liverpool. The camera follows the life of Allister, who moved into the area around the same time as the car fires started.

WHAT LIES BENEATH: A BBC documentary about how to properly insulate the flooring in your house, in order to generate warmth, cut down on energy consumption and ultimately prevail in the battle against the ravaged climate. Presented by Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen in shorts.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN: A BBC documentary on the recent ban of country music at Swansea's most popular retirement home, causing an uproar in the senior citizens, as they barricade themselves in the cafeteria in defiance.

GONE WITH THE WIND: A BBC documentary about a hurricane that tore through Swansea in 1905, taking with it not only a large portion of the local housing estates, but 35% of all people living in them at the time. Many of these people have not been seen since, although a large portion of them were found floating around the Welsh coast.

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: A BBC documentary about the run up to Christmas beginning at the start of November. In an economy based on store credit, the programme focusses on the ever declining state of the country's debt and the aftermath of the Christmas season.

The programme takes place in the Woolworths located in Swansea's town centre.

Chog Zoo Updates!

Hey everyone, finally got some good news to share...

Chog Zoo have just completed work on a visual review for Subvert Magazine, based in Manchester. The review was for the new band Mexicolas, who release their debut album 'X' at some point this year. You can catch the review and the images by clicking the image below: (thankyou to Eve who modelled for us)



We're about to start work on some new merchandise for Failsafe, who are to release their second album 'The Truth Is...' later on this year. You can check those guys out here:

FAILSAFE

We're also in discussions with Alex from HiCalorie.com to produce some design work for a range of transfers to go onto iPods and other such electrical media.

In further news, our website is in its very basic form right now. After checking the poll, we went with

CHOG-ZOO.COM

so thanks for voting if you did. Click the image below to check it out:



That's all for now. Thanks guys!

CZ x